BubbleGum, it goes in your mouth...not in your hair

It was the thirteenth of October, the day i like to call "Bubblegum Masacure" It was like any other day for me, lazy and uneventful. As i was watching t.v. aproximatly around 12:52pm as it was recorded in a text message to greg prior to me falling asleep. I started to doze off from boredome while watching Spongebob.
Then suddenly at 2:59pm i was awoken by a text message alert from greg to go check the mail. I staggerly got up from the couch trying to get myself , and my thoughts together. Then a lightbulb went off in my head as i was getting my flipflops on, i didn't have the minty fresh gum in my mouth that i had put in earlier that morning due to lazyiness of not brushing my teeth.
I suddenly started to panic! I started to investigate and ask myself questions, like: "did i throw it away?" "Could i have swallowed it?" "Did it fall out of my mouth and get stuck to the couch cushine?" "is it stuck on me somewhere?!" so many questions, then i thought that i shouldn't worry and that i must have thrown it away before i fell asleep. I wouldn't have been THAT clumsy to fall asleep with gum in my mouth. Or am I? The thought quickly left and i continued my task to get the mail. When i got back home, i noticed how messed up and horrible my hair looked. No wonder everyone outside walking their dogs were looking at me weird. So i started to fix my hair and just quickly put it up. As i started to run my fingers through my hair i noticed a HUGE knot underneath all my hair. So i tried to brush it out and it just wouldn't give. So then i tried to pull it apart in hopes that it would loosen up to brush out. To MY surprise that in the middle of this horrible knotted chunk of hair, there was a green, sticky ball of gum. There it went! in all it's glory, there it was stuck in my hair. I freaked out and immediately started to pull, tug, strip, and rip strands of my hair. It seemed that when i was able to get a little piece of gum out, it took Twenty strands of hair along with it. I tried everything to save my hair that i worked so long and hard to keep healthy and long. I tried ice, mayo and peanutbutter. Nothing seemed to be working, and i was loosing the battle. This went on for two hours. I had never seen something so aweful and gruesome, there was just so much gum. I finally surrendered and pulled the plug. Death time: 5:04pm

It was truely a sad, sad day for me. So i went and got it fixed, had the lady cut it to where it would be even and she gave a style. It was really funny when i told the hair dresser what had happned, she asked me "did you use peanutbutter?" ha, ha,....so what do you think? it's knew and a huge difference for me. I'm kinda getting use to it and noticing some nice perks to it having this short hair. It's easier to wash, blowdry, style, and to do all together. So i'm definately liking that part.

So, that is the story of "The Bubblegum Masacure" and the moral of the story is to never fall asleep with gum in your mouth.